Single for the holidays




“The whole 'you complete me' idea is terrifying to me.”

"I’ve been single for a while and it doesn’t even occur to me to feel differently about it during the holidays. Yes, all the holiday movies, which I love desperately, are about finding love at Christmas. But, my community is filled with fabulous people. None of them would tell me, 'You must be real sad, you don’t have a boyfriend.'

It would be nice to share things with a partner like going to the pumpkin patch or to the Christmas tree farm, but I’ve found you can just go with the people who are in your life and that’s OK. Besides, having a relationship isn’t all sunny days and beam reaches!

Most women have heard the story that you’re not a whole person until you have a man. But, the whole 'you complete me' idea is terrifying to me. Right now, especially after watching how the whole Kavanaugh thing played out, I don’t feel like I have room for a man in my life. But, if I did, I would want the relationship to be between two, complete people who enjoy one another’s company."

Christine, who plays the bassoon, posed in her sweater which reads, "Bassoon it will be Christmas day." She also brought her knitting, a favorite, year-round past time.


Owen Rowe

“When I’m with people who I haven’t known for decades, I don’t know how to reach that same level of connection.”

"I don’t like being single. I do have friends who invite me over, but it can sometimes feel awkward during the holidays, like 'here’s this guy who has nowhere else to go.' I grew up in one of those families where everyone is talking at once and interrupting one another. I’m more introverted and quiet, but somehow that environment worked for me. When I’m with people who I haven’t known for decades, I don’t know how to reach that same level of connection.

I want someone I can talk to, not necessarily just about the day-to-day stuff, but things I get excited about: Literature, language, stories, food, fonts. I’m wearing a font geek T-shirt today. There are people here who I connect with on those topics, and that desire for conversation gets me involved in all these community organizations. But that means I have to go to the meeting, or run the meeting, to get the conversation that I’m there for. The closest to what I’m looking for is probably the book club I’ve been a part of for five years. We rarely see one another between meetings, but I know that for two hours a month I’ll get to sit down and talk about the things that are really important to me.

I do have a holiday tradition, one that ties in to my interests. I read a story aloud, “Country Cooking from Central France: Roast Boned Rolled Stuffed Shoulder of Lamb (Farce Double)” by Harry Mathews. It takes about half an hour to 40 minutes to read it out loud. It’s this hilarious folktale about an absurd recipe and the history surrounding it. It’s a good thing to read while you’re having a glass of wine with friends and the turkey’s in the oven."

For more on Mathews' book, Owen recommends listening to Isaiah Sheffer who read the story as part of the PRI Public Radio International program “Selected Shorts.”